delivery robots want wicker park. the city’s worst landowner bought a florida house.

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wieners or wiener’s? nobody knows. chicago magazine investigated the punctuation crisis at the lincoln park icon. the sign says “wiener’s.” the marquee says “wieners.” the shirts say “wieners.” the city says “wiener’s.” owner ari levy says: ¯\(ツ)/¯.

hilco sued after “worst landowner” auction underperforms. remember suzie b. wilson, the vacant lot queen of the south and west sides? her bankruptcy fire sale sold about 200 of her 800+ lots. the city got $0. hilco got fees. now chicago wants $4m back. wilson, meanwhile, relocated to a $950,000 home in sunny bradenton. do with that information what you will. more on the city’s lawsuit here.

delivery robots want your sidewalk. serve and coco want to expand in the 1st ward. ald. la spata held a community meeting and posted a feedback form online. one guy needed stitches from a robot safety flag. a petition to pause the program now has 3,300+ signatures. the companies insist: “no serious incidents.” ok then. roll on.

coyotes: not more, just more desperate. no, the city isn’t being overrun by coyotes. you’re just seeing them because it’s mating season and they’re horny, loud, and extremely done pretending to be nocturnal. biologists say the population is stable, but the vibes are unstable. keep your small dogs and large hubris inside after sunset.

swedish days: we’re pretending everything’s fine. the geneva chamber of commerce issued a very strong, very specific statement about the fate of swedish days, the annual june festival where suburbanites cosplay as 19th-century scandinavians. the statement: “i do not intend to cancel.” bold. declarative. so now the news is: the thing that didn’t happen also isn’t not happening. we salute this commitment to noncommittal optimism. read the statement that isn’t news

save your future self $45. the secretary of state will be at the auto show (feb. 8–16), handing out real ids like it’s candy. tsa fines kick in without one. bonus: you get to wander around looking at cars you’ll never buy.

eat: mazor (fulton river district, 485 n milwaukee) is guatemalan-mexican and allegedly opening soon. don’t panic if it’s not open yet—it will be. early word via eater.

do: the orchid show at the botanic garden opens friday (feb 7). theme: feelin’ groovy. expect a lava lamp, a vw beetle full of orchids, and yes, a silent disco… on select nights only (feb 21 & mar 21). the flowers are extremely vibing.

long grove’s cocoa crawl is saturday, feb. 7, noon–3pm. hot cocoa samples across multiple downtown merchants. spend $100, get a free mug. bring your coat and your financial restraint. details for your cocoa quest

forget hot chocolate—try this ancient creamy winter drink instead. sahlab is a creamy levantine winter drink made with milk, orange blossom water, vanilla, cinnamon, and crushed pistachios. traditionally thickened with orchid tubers (illegal now, because we ruin everything), but cornstarch does the job. takes 10 minutes, tastes like comfort. you deserve it.

the ultimate guide to chicago pizza. here’s block club’s full chicago pizza taxonomy. prepare for six hours of arguing with people who are wrong.

the landowner is gone. the robots are coming. the cocoa is hot. the apostrophe is still missing.

tips, sightings, suspicious robot behavior?

send us something weird from your block. we’re watching the news—but you’re watching the sidewalk.

talk next tuesday.

-sam